27 Haziran 2012 Çarşamba

Last weekend before the girls are born

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The twins are going to be born tomorrow!!!!   It is so crazy and I CAN NOT wrap my head around it.    I am really calm about everything .....it just doesn't seem real to me.
I'm sure I will wake up at 2 am for one of my many bathroom breaks and not be able to go back to sleep because its all I will be thinking about, but for one now I am super calm.

On Saturday we had a little get together to celebrate the girls coming but also wanted to make things special for Cassie since its the last weekend before she is not the only child.  Nana and Papa bought her and her sisters some presents to open.

She has become a pro at riding her trik!


Enjoying some chips and dip

Opening presents for her sisters

Onsies for her sisters

Cute!!!

Opening a present for her

Decked out in her 4th of July Dress

Nana and Cass

Papa and Cass

Grandma and Cass

Daddy and Cass

My girl and I

Playing hide and seek - counting to 10


Today I decided we should go to the zoo.   It is our last day before we go from a family of 3 to a family of 5 so I wanted to do something fun with Cassie.   She was so excited to go.   I felt fine untill the very end, we stayed for 2 1/2 hours and at the end my hip and pelvic bones were killing me.   

We left the zoo, stopped for lunch and headed to Babies R Us to pick up a few preemie items since we are pretty sure Emily is going to be around 4lbs.   We then headed home, had a little water fight in the back yard with the hose, watched Dumbo and are now preparing for the big day tomorrow.

Cassie is in bed.  Matt went to grab dinner so I don't have to cook and we are just relaxing for the night.   Things are pretty much packed up, I just have a few more items to pack for tomorrow but we are ready to go.

So exciting.  

Dutch bikes

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Some tourists in the Netherlands take pictures of canals or old buildings. I take pictures of bikes.
a typical street, full of parked bikes
bikes parked in front of a theater building

old street & canal in Amsterdam, with bikes parked all over of course
lots of people doubled/tripled up on bikes (usually a parent with 2 kids, but occasionally adults would ride too!)
 Now my favorite part...all of the cool bikes & bike seats. I loved these front-end cargo bikes.
 Inside there is a seat with 2 seatbelts.  I also saw some serious cargo bikes! You'll never get wet inside these. Tandem bike, plus a child seat on the back
A family with 3 children lives here! You can see the parent's bike with 2 child's seats and saddlebags, and a kid's bike chained up behind it. I love the little windscreen in front of the baby seat. 
 
"No biking" signs
Okay, I did take one houseboat picture!



Human Rights in Childbirth: Panel 3

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Panel 3:The Rights of the Baby:The interests of the unborn child and the power to speak for those interests
Panelists:
  • Farah Diaz-Tello: civil/human rights lawyer, USA 
  • Roanna Rosewood: mother, USA
  • Barbara Harper: nurse and birth activist, USA
  • Susan Bewley: obstetrician-gynecologist, UK
  • Noam Zohar: professor of philosophy and ethics, Israel
  • Michel Odent: obstetrician, France
  • Anna Verwaal (moderator): maternal child health nurse, birth consultant, USA

Farah Diaz-Tello, an attorney for National Advocates for Pregnant Women, opened the panel by commenting on the legal implications of separating the mother & fetus. Pregnant women become second-class citizens when the fetus-mother are are separated, giving the fetus equal or greater rights than the woman. Pregnant women have been--and are continuing to be--punished for their health-care problems and addictions. She referred to a case in Norway where a pregnant woman terminated her pregnancy rather than face imprisonment for the duration of her pregnancy. She commented on the need for treating pregnant women with dignity and respect and ended with the question: "At what point in pregnancy does a woman start to lose her human rights?"

Roanna Rosewood, a mother of 3 children, told a moving story about her first two births via cesarean section. When she was pregnant with her third, her hospital had changed its policies and made VBAC practically impossible. Her doctor wanted to help, but her hands were tied. So Roanna chose to give birth to her third child at home. An excerpt from her presentation:
Women were created to give life and protect the interests of our children. We cannot separate from it. It is who we are. It's in the breadth of our hips that widen of their own volition to cradle them. It's in the curve of our breasts, heavy with milk to soothe them. Every month, our wombs ache in preparation to receive life because, as women, it is our responsibility, honor, and choice to bring new life into the world. We alone have earned the right to speak for our unborn babies' interests.
Roanna is currently working on a book Cut, Stapled and Mended: A Do-It-Yourself Birth  , forthcoming in 2013.

Barbara Harper, founder of WaterBirth International, first reviewed the UNICEF Convention on the Rights of the Child. In her presentation and in her letter to the conference, she touched on the growing field of epigenetics that examines how perinatal experiences affect a human years, even decades, later. A few comments for her conference letter worth mentioning:
Fear is omnipresent in modern birth rooms throughout the world. Fear of outcome, fear of litigation, fear of not following the rules and regulations set by the institution. When women were surveyed, they do not want to be in an environment that is unfriendly, non-supportive or not accommodating....

The place of birth is not as important as the cooperative effort and respectful attitude that is show to mother/baby....How we care for pregnant women, assist birthing mothers and what we do immediately after birth with mother/baby creates sequelae that influence the core of our existence as human beings. Instead of looking at a "right place" or a "wrong place" to care for women and their babies, we must look at a "cooperative best way," with complete honesty. 

Dr. Bewley, a UK OB/GYN, examined laws or regulations that currently limit pregnant women's freedom. She noted that pregnant women's liberty is constrained in several different ways: by laws that restrict work or exposure to occupational hazards, by airline travel rules, by incarceration in prison or mental health institutions, and by cultural or social stigma. In all of these cases, these limitations require sound justification. She next turned to examples of limiting pregnant women's autonomy in favor of avoiding harm to the fetus. She highlighted several real-life examples that might provoke medical professionals to limit a pregnant woman's autonomy in order to help the baby:
  • Women who are HIV+ but decline anti-retrovirals, 
  • Substance misusers
  • Jehovah's witnesses who refuse in-utero blood transfusion for hydrops
  • Woman with a personality disorder inserting tools into her uterus at 28 weeks gestation
  • Women with severe pre-eclampsia refusing hospital admission
  • Women who decline cervical cerclage in the second trimester 
  • Women who refuse to consent to a CS and whose babies are stillborn or sustained brain damage
  • Women who decline routine blood tests due to needle phobia
In these cases, actions to prevent "real and avoidable harm" were not universally beneficial: some babies were helped, others were harmed.

Dr. Bewley next addressed the differences between treating the mother as a patient versus the fetus as a patient. She highlighted the tools ("obstetric armamentarium") that obstetricians can use when counseling their patients:
  • appealing to their training, skills, and expertise
  • having a trusting relationship with the patient based on confidentiality and consent
  • listening to the patient's story
  • formulating a diagnosis, prognosis, and agreeing on a plan
  • Advising, monitoring, prescribing, operating, negotiating, and referring
  • Using friends, family, religious and community advisers
  • Heavy-duty moral persuasion (she noted that while she personally doesn't like to use this one, it *does* get used by other physicians)
She suggested abandoning the the use of force, threats, or fear.

Last, Dr. Bewley examined the possible effects of proposed "fetal rights" laws and reiterated her main point--that laws limiting pregnant women's autonomy in the name of safety will never have a universally beneficial effect. Some babies will be helped, but others will be harmed. What Dr. Bewley was implying, I think, is that certainty is elusive in medical decision-making. This makes the ethics of doctor-patient interactions all the more complicated.

Noam Zohar, a philosopher of bioethics, discussed how risk is always culturally processed. Every day, parents take much more elevated risks with their existing children than they do when they choose to give birth at home. Being a parent means weighing one marginal risk against another. He commented: "Even if the there is some increase in negative outcomes due to home birth, the absolute magnitude is so small that it is absurd to base any policy on it."

Michel Odent reminded us that we need to think long-term about what is best for babies. He expressed satisfaction that science and medicine have finally (re)discovered a core truth: that newborn babies need their mothers. The challenge for the 21st century is to find the answer to another core question: can we (re)discover the basic needs of pregnant & laboring women? 

Anna Verwaal showed a short video posing questions about the impact of birth experiences on the baby. While the images were beautiful and arresting and most of the commentary was spot-on, I (and Jill Arnold, who was sitting next to me) resisted some of the more heavy-handed rhetoric that the right kind of birth has the potential to cure the ills of the human race and that we're scarred for life if our own birth was difficult or traumatic. I turned to Jill and said, "Hey, I was born while my mother was hanging upside-down by her ankles and I think I turned out just fine!" She agreed.

I don't feel like I am somehow still processing or struggling against the circumstances of my less-than-ideal birth. This doesn't negate the need for gentleness and love and respect during the birth process; however, we need to be careful about some of the inflated claims we might make in our efforts to improve the birth experiences of mothers and babies.

Home again

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We flew back from France a week ago. I had the kids on my own again. It went something like this the whole way home:

Me: okay kids let's go. no running the wrong way on the moving sidewalks. Inga, wrong way! who needs to go pee? look, airplanes! I'm sorry that your ears hurt. try some gum to see if they will pop. no Dio you can't climb over the seat. watch out so your drink doesn't spill. Zari can you watch Inga while I use the bathroom? uh oh, Inga just ripped the magazine. look, Inga, a picture of a dog! yes, we're way up high in the sky, higher than the clouds. Dio please don't kick Zari. Could we get some more water please? (x 21 hours)

Eric: sleep. watch a movie. sleep. watch another movie. read a book. sleep. (x 21 hours)

The kids did okay on the first two flights, but by the third flight they were a mess. Zari's ears wouldn't pop and she was sobbing the whole time. Dio was shrieking because I made him stay buckled in when the light went on. Inga was screaming because 5 minutes after she finally fell asleep, Dio had to go to the bathroom and she woke when I got up to help him.

We traveled for 21 hours from start to finish, starting at 4 am. Eric got bumped on the way home--on purpose, so he could get vouchers--but that meant I was on my own the first night home. So you'd think we would all sleep like the dead after being awake for so long. But no. Dio woke up at 1:30 am (7:30 am French time) and was convinced it was time to be awake. Oh, and Zari and Inga both woke up multiple times that night, too. Thankfully we're all back on schedule now.

I've been working my way through 4 weeks of weeds in my gardens. It's hot hot hot here and unusually dry. I'm actually watering my plants, which you never do in this part of the country.

Coming up:
  • Notes on the rest of the Human Rights in Childbirth Conference
  • A set of book reviews about food, France, and raising children
  • Reviews of some new DVDs, from documentaries to prenatal bellydancing

What are the basic needs of women in labor?

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After panel 3 of the Human Rights in Childbirth Conference, the moderator abandoned the usual audience Q&A in favor of small group discussions. She challenged us to discuss one of the issues raised in the panel, then report back to the larger group.

I was sitting next to Jill Arnold, Chantal Gill'ard, and Britt Somebody (if it was you, please leave your full name in the comments!). Anna Verwaal's film had been the last item on the panel, and we first discussed why we resisted some of its emotional appeals. Then we turned to answering Michel Odent's question:
Now that we have discovered that newborn babies need their mothers, can we (re)discover the basic needs of women in labor?
I vounteered to be the spokeswoman. Here's what I reported back to the large group:

~~~~~
The four of us attempted to answer Michel Odent's question about the basic needs of women in labor. We enjoyed watching the film, but we found ourselves resisting some of its emotional appeals and its implicit assumptions that there's a right and a wrong way to give birth. We are searching for a series of truths or standards that hold true in all settings, that don't prescribe a certain way to give birth, yet that aren't so weak as to be totally useless.

Even if all women are given the most ideal, supportive birth setting possible, some women will still need medical intervention. So it's not solely about having a spontaneous, unmedicated labor. In addition, not all women desire or enjoy a "natural" birth or even a vaginal birth. Can we identify the basic needs of women in labor in ways that allow for a variety of birth experiences and a diversity of journeys?

We think we can. For those of you who like to think more left-brained, we came up with four key needs of all laboring women:

First, a right to autonomy.

 Second, a right to informed consent and refusal and the necessary information to make those decisions.

Third, real options to choose from. Autonomy and informed consent/refusal cannot exist without choice.
 
Fourth, being treated with respect & dignity.

If you're more of a right-brained thinker, these four principles can be boiled down even further into one simple question. This is the litmus test for what every woman deserves when she gives birth:
Was there love in the room?

Human Rights in Childbirth: Panel 4

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Panel 4:Collaboration, Competition, Money and Monopoly:The legal status of doctors, midwives, and hospitals in pregnancy and obstetric care
Panelists:
  • Barbara Hewson: human rights attorney, UK
  • Marlies Eggermont: healthcare lawyer and midwife, Belgium
  • Becky Reed: midwife, UK
  • Amali Lokugamage: obstetrician-gynecologist, UK
  • Elke Heckel: independent midwife, UK
  • Debra Pascali-Bonaro: doula and filmmaker, USA 
  • Jill Arnold: blogger, USA
  • Ina May Gaskin (moderator): midwife, USA

 Barbara Hewson spoke about independent midwives in the UK and their difficulty in obtaining malpractice insurance (also called professional indemnity insurance, or PII). Recent EU regulations concerning healthcare mandate that all health care providers carry PII, which might mean the extinction of independent midwives across Europe unless they are able to find a creative solution to the insurance mandate.

She also mentioned Mary Cronk, an experienced (and now retired) British midwife known for her pithy advice. Cronk was fond of saying that doctors and midwives are the servants of the women they look after, not the masters. Hewson also referred to Cronk's strategies for when you're told "you're not allowed to do that."

Marlies Eggermont, a midwife and lawyer in Belgium, referred to the Ternovszky case and examined whether Germany, France, the Netherlands, the UK, and Belgium are in compliance with Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights. She concluded that these five countries have legislation in place consistent with Article 8, but that real choices are often absent. Insurance is often an issue, either availability or cost. She also noted flaws with physicians' risk communication and detection.


Becky Reed highlighted the history and closure of the Albany Midwifery Practice, which I summarized in Panel 2.






 Amali Lokugamage, a UK OB/GYN, spoke about her journey to home birth as an obstetrician. She noted the monopoly of the medical model in understanding pregnancy and childbirth. Her own experience of pregnancy opened new ways of knowing and understanding the world around her, as her left-brained self discovered right-brained thought processes for the first time. She wrote a book about her own journey to choosing a home birth ("a peak experience in my life"), called The Heart in the Womb. She also mentioned that the grading of evidence in RCOG and ACOG documents gives patient more power in negotiating their care.

Elke Heckel also spoke about the difficulties for independent midwives to find PII.




Debra Pascali-Bonaro spoke about the important role of doulas in maternity care.






Jill Arnold told her own story: pregnant with a suspected big baby, her care providers urged her to have an elective cesarean. She began researching the medical literature, disocvered that those recommendations were not supported by evidence, and refused the procedure. She named the elephant in the room in her story: that an authority figure was encouraging her to make decisions that had no medical basis.

In the ensuing discussion--which, like all of the post-panel discussions, was quite lively--I remember that Betty-Anne Daviss made a comment about both horizontal (provider to provider) and vertical violence (provider to woman) in maternity care.  We also heard about the importance of pursuing mediation before pressing charges or going to hearings.
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